Stella English, winner of the TV show ‘The Apprentice’ seems to have been kicked out of her job after complaining that it wasn’t hard enough and they kept giving her too much money.
Sources close to her boss Lord sugar have hinted that anyone stupid enough to complain about such working conditions needs to be fired.
The Haddock’s business analyst Farifax Hake explains:
‘The point of business is to make as much profit as you can and profit is what you’ve got left after you’ve done all your work and spent what you have to on your business. If your making a lot of profit, that’s good business…if you don’t like that then you’re stupid…an everyone knows that a fool and their money are soon parted!’
This means that the position of ‘Overpaid Lackey’ is now up for grabs and thousands of people have been applying for the role.
“We’ve had an overwhealming response!” said one of the other overpaid lacky’s who, having opened an envelope, headed out for a 40min fag break in the run up to lunch.
“The job can’t that bad after all!” he said.
So attractive is this role that four employees from Haddock News have already thrown their hat into the ring, and I’m one of them!
The BBC are already considering comissioning a new series ‘The Lackey’ starring Lord Sugar as a man searching for a new employee who is ‘A total bulshitter who doesn’t pull their weight’.
The job is yours so long as you keep your mouth shut!