Everything is lovely in Venezuela

Somebody must've told them about those new tennis courts!

Somebody must’ve told them about those new tennis courts!

Now with New Tennis Courts!

The country of Venezuela is as tranquil as a Buddhist temple at the moment. The people happily eat candy in the streets, dogs smile and no students are shot in the head. Not a single one, nor two, not even three dead students shot in the head by military police!

The internet is at its highest speed ever in the country, being that the benevolent overlords in power have denied access to all social networking sites and significant portions of Google. Imagine all that freed up bandwidth! You’ll be sharing cake recipes with Aunt Lola in no time!

Did we mention the tennis courts? How about those tennis courts!

Venezuela’s serenity should be fairly obvious: if something was going on, wouldn’t the major news outlets of the world be covering it? The biggest problem that the world currently faces is obviously Justin Bieber simulating fellatio on Miley Cyrus’s foam finger, something Venezuelans take great pride in not condoning!

So plan your trip to Venezuela today! Venezuela: You’ll Care as Much as You Care About Syria!™

For more on paradise, click here.

Bernard Floater Posted by on February 18, 2014. Filed under Haddock Culture, Haddock World. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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