Lump of Fossilized Water found in Rutland

Fossilised water

This is what water looks like when it is not fossilized.


A group of archaeologists digging in a Rutland quarry have found what they believe to be the first ever chunk of fossilized water. The block measuring eight meters by four is completely opaque and may contain fish.

The water, believed to have been killed by spinney of Tyrannosaurs during the Jurassic period, poured off of a cliff and into a tar pit and where it lay for sixty-five million years. Now the precious substance has been preserved for future generations.

“Bloody hell this is exciting,” said Jake, a man who hangs around the dig because there are birds with dirty fingernails and big boobs there.

When we asked expedition leader Dr. Mike Banks about the find he was less than forthcoming on the subject of proof. “Prove me wrong you nosey bastards,”  he shouted through an engraved pewter tankard half full with cider.

We tried to question the rest of the team but those not engrossed in a Dungeons-and-Dragons-a-thon were either singing folk music or getting baked on hemp.

The block of ancient water has been sent to the natural history museum (it is unclear whether or not the museum is aware of this) where it may end up being analyzed to at least try and prove if indeed it does contain fish.

Meanwhile the team are continuing with the dig having pointed out on their blog (published on that far from an isolated find this water block may in fact be one of the smallest of an entire squadron of water which was mauled to death by rampaging super-massive aphids and therefore also preserved at the site (unlike the super-massive aphids who’s existence is a matter of some debate, hell, just because the dragonflies were the size of light aircraft it doesn’t mean that ….)

We look forward to that then.

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