Amber Rudd sent to the West Indies thanks to Magna Carta footnote!

Amber Rudd surrenders passport

Departing home secretary Amber Rudd has been deported to the West Indies thanks to a thousand year old unread memo.

Mrs Rudd who had barely packed up her things into a cardboard box was detained by police and customs officials as she left her office yesterday and driven to the airport forthwith.

The fact that she is not from the West Indies, nor has she ever been there is of no consequence as it clearly states in a hand written footnote at the base of the the Magna Carta (written more than 250 years before the West Indies was even discovered) that she has to go, and so she must.

Suggestions that it was written in biro by a visiting Jamaican historian have been utterly rejected.

Her lawyers have argued that this is ridiculous and that such an old document couldn’t possibly be applied in this case, however such an attack on the validity of what is tantamount to the only existing constitutional document in the British Isles is an act of high treason.

Expect to see their heads displayed on the Bishopsgate end of London Bridge by Friday morning at the latest!