Bon Jovi lyrics can explode the brains of mosquitoes, this is old news but did you know they can also kill viruses?
Scientists found that although the Kiss lyric ‘If life is a stereo turn up to ten’ caused vomiting and nausea in white mice and various invertebrates and this line from Heart: ‘I told him I am the flower you are the seed We walked in the garden we planted a tree’ turned an acre of virgin rainforest into bleached earth’ it was Bon Jovi that was the most lethal.
It is universally accepted that, despite a history of semantic and musical offences, the lyric ‘with an iron-clad fist I wake wake up to French kiss the morning’ from Bed of roses is the worst lyric ever written.
And so it came to pass that these heart felt words proved too much for the Malaria virus causing it fizzle out like an Alkaseltza in a bucket of mule piss.
As we speak, helicopters are being sent to Africa to fly over the fields and jungles playing ‘Bed of Roses’ at top volume.
Next week we’ll be interviewing a family of anopheles mosquitoes about life after Malaria.