A man in Cheshire has married his carpet at a short service in the local registry office.
The Rug, named Phyllis, was given away by a local weaver.When asked why he wished to marry a carpet the groom Michael Komansky, a Polish national, didn’t understand the question and so did not answer it.*
Speaking on behalf of the carpet the weaver, known as Seth, said that this was an unprecedented opportunity for a piece of household furniture to live a normal human life and that we are in no position to judge either bride or groom.
Phyllis was attended by four cashmere rugs and the Best Mat was a Turkish parlour rug called Dennis.The couple were last seen disappearing into their hotel room with a vacuum cleaner.
*We couldn’t afford a translator, it would have eaten into the beer budget and everyone knows that sober journalism is not worth the paper it’s written on.