Man Sues the Internet

Johnson Lacking, a disgruntled man with a history of erectile dysfunction is attempting to sue the entire Internet because of all the spam email he receives pertaining to penis enlargement, Viagra and other marital aids.

“I just don’t understand why they keep emailing me?” he said. “It’s not like I emailed them asking for a solution! I’ve never told anyone about this… how did they find out?”

When our reporter tried to calm him down by pointing out that the very act of setting up a Hotmail account was tantamount to parading up and down 5th Avenue with sandwich board reading “I can’t get it up” as far as spammers are concerned, but he was having none of it.

“I’m not having any of it! ” he said.

Sex therapist ‘Madeira Boy’ had this to say. “If he could only channel his anger into his loins the situation would right itself.” Great advice, but she was unable to explain how this is done. Shame really, you could bottle and idea like that and sell it to unsuspecting Hotmailers!