Manaz Ill won’t show us the Pictures

Long ago, a few daredevil explorers gave a troll some silver, set sail across the high seas, and followed an ancient starmap deep into the unknown. Australia is what ended up coming of that.

Australians are generally good-hearted people. They take care of one another, and they donate unwanted infants to local dingos as a beautiful form of charity. Also, despite their distance, they like to stay current on global social trends. Three of the hottest trends currently – rap, sexting, and blindness – intersect in the form of Manaz Ill, the blind Australian battle rapper who recently released the erection photographer’s anthem “Pictures of My Dick.”

We spoke with Manaz to get the inside story on the track and see if it’s true what they say about blind men being hung like donkeys:

Manaz Ill has apprehensions about sending his dick pictures to The Haddock!

Manaz Ill has apprehensions about sending his dick pictures to The Haddock!

HADDOCK NEWS: You do something called battle rap. What do you have against rap, and why are you battling it?

MANAZ ILL: I love rap, I just hate some of the people in it. I guess the battle shit is my way of trying to make some of them quit.

HN: You’re from Australia; a country with lots of bees and frogs and things. If aliens came to Earth, what would you have them do to New Zealand?

MI: I’d have them fix the fucked up way they talk there.

HN: Being a blind person as you are, do you enjoy films, or just their soundtracks?

MI: I only enjoy the soundtracks in porn. I really like the acting too.

HN: Let’s talk about your track “Pictures of My Dick.” First and foremost, did your mate end up helping you with the photography?

MI: No, my mates are unreasonable cunts.

HN: Can we see the pictures?

MI: If I can’t you can’t either.

HN: …please?

MI: No. I missed when I was trying to take the photo anyway. Its just a pic of my leg.

HN: Oh come on would you just send them to us? It’s not a gay thing; we’ll post them in the Haddock HQ 5th Floor Dick Picture Break Room (also known as “Club Rigid”)!

MI: If you want them that bad I’ll get my mate to send a photo of his and just say its mine.

The mood goes stale for a moment.

HN: Fine. Anything you’d like to plug? Besides your dick, perhaps?

MI: Go and watch all my battles and bump my music. My EP ‘What It Look Like’ is out soon.

FB: www.facebook.com/manaz1er
Twitter: www.twitter.com/manaz1er
Soundcloud: http://soundcloud.com/manaz-ill