M dot Strange is an animator and director that lives up to his name: he’s a mysterious and peculiar beast, and his first name starts with M, probably. His films have caused a myriad of injuries at underground screenings across the country, most non-life threatening, and some very life-threatening. One thing that we’re not going to be talking much about here is sexual intercourse with mannequins.
Mr. Strange has a lot of exciting things on the horizon, so we caught up with him to not talk about any of that shit.
* * *
Haddock News – So let’s just get this out of the way off the bat: you’re the guy that enjoys sleeping with mannequins. We can put a pin in it there, let that go for the rest of this discussion, not concern ourselves with it and that’s that. That being said, would you care to elaborate a little on your odd interest in mannequin sex?
M dot Strange – Well I may perhaps technically sleep with mannequins but in the literal sense of the word. The religion I belong to in which a wooden stop motion rabbit is gawd (I animated the rabbit btw) forbids me from copulating with any inanimate objects or fruit. Having said that I am interested in mannequin sex itself but I haven’t been able to find any videos of mannequins having sex themselves- just videos of biological humans having sex with mannequins or other humans pretending to be mannequins.
HN – I feel like I’m speaking to a mirror. How many things made out of chocolate can you name?
MdS – I can name a lot but there’s only one that matters…SEXUAL CHOCOLATE.
HN – We play your films in the 8th story break room of Haddock HQ: we call it the David Lynch room, being that you go in, watch something entirely mental, and then get lynched by a man named David. You wouldn’t believe how many times our staff has asked for your films to be played in other break rooms where they wouldn’t have to be slaughtered in order to enjoy them.
MdS – I’ve always fantasized about my films being used for actual torture so the thought of this is almost as stimulating as the thought of mannequins having sex with each other (only if they love one another of course, and after marriage, and never for money unless they really really need it to pay off gambling debts or to pay for risky gender re-assignment surgery involving marzipan genitals).
HN – We at the Haddock all have marzipan genitals, so we certainly share that sentiment. M dot, What is a hero?
MdS – A hero is not an hero or else he/she would be dead- so a hero perseveres when anyone else would perish! A hero is not interested in having sex with dead bodies. A hero always seeks to copulate with living biological humans and also fruit.
HN – Does a hero have sex with mannequins? Also, is mannequin sex kind of like sleeping with Alan Rickman when he played Metatron in Dogma?
MdS – A hero only has sex with mannequins when the gawd of all things (a stop motion rabbit animated by me) waves a wand at them in classic Disneyesque fashion endowing them with the ability to defecate on themselves (i.e. glorious humanity!). I’ve never seen the film Dogma so I cannot comment on this Metatron but I do think very highly of a certain bipedal gun in Megatron who somehow is able to transform down to the size of a large handgun. Speaking of large handguns I haven’t put much time recently into thoughts of having sex with the actors that have voiced Megatron (mainly because of my busy animating gawd schedule).
HN – Imagine for a moment that you were a camel. If you were dying of thirst, would you gnaw into your own hump to glean a few drops of precious life-sustaining liquid? Or is that a myth that camels do that?
MdS – If I was a camel my only interest would be spitting in the faces of those who have doubted my prowess as an animal film director. I would tap into the hump if it would make my spittle more foul or poisonous; I would have no qualms wasting away hump and all if I could just spit a few more bola’s of wretched gummy saliva into the faces of those who ever ridiculed my films!
M picks a stapler up and stamps a staple directly into his left temple. After a moment of silence, the interview resumes:
HN – Have you ever tried to sync your films to Tom Waits records to see if they align in a significant way?
MdS – I’ve never tried syncing my films with the songs of Tom Wait’s BUT I have used Mr. Waits rough and gruff voice to actually sand down my wooden stop motion models and the genitals of male mannequins that have threatened my prowess as film director of fancy films.
HN – What is your opinion of the film Road House with Patrick Swayze? Is my 8-year-old nephew old enough to be exposed to that much body oil?
MdS – Oh yes Road House! When I was in Junior High a few of the boys whispered of its legend in the locker room. One boy named Bobby I believe was able to view Road House one night when his parents fell asleep. Bobby told us that it was a very “naughty” film. I watched Road House as soon as I could find it on cable, with its nudity, adult situations and all (so said TV Guide). Swayze’s mullet was strong as was his jump kick, I saw the Roadhouse as was forever changed. It ALMOST washed away the old Swayze stains my eyeballs suffered after seeing Dirty Dancing in the cinema… oh the horror.
HN – You’re a beautiful human being. Do you have anything you’d like to plug? Anything that isn’t comprised of articulable pieces of plastic which mimic the shape of the human body for the purpose of displaying clothing?
MdS – My last movie made up of mannequins, monsters, and bouncing mammaries entitled Heart String Marionette can be purchased on my website YOUWILLDIEINSIDE.COM for the low low price of five (5) U.S. Dollars; dying of some type guaranteed or your money back! I’m also taking pre-orders on my next KIDS FILM called I AM NIGHTMARE on my website MDOTSTRANGE.COM order now and I’ll draw you a disturbing postcard after washing my hands thoroughly and mailing it to your post box! Thank you for your time, gawd bless, stay gangsta and drive safe. Also drive safe.