Mass Evacuumation! Cyclone Caused by Rogue Hoover!

Cyclone Yasi may not be an act of God after all. Photos from the eye of the storm show an object resembling a yellow vacuum cleaner, spinning around the storm wall at unbelievable speed. According to sources at Dyson, the first company to make yellow vacuum cleaners, the device may well be a prototype built by a rival firm. Chinese Company Suk Yu have identified as the likely culprits. For years they have been working on a device similar to the Dyson machine but using technology that does not violate any of his patents. However, in their search for the perfect dust buster it is suspected that they bit off more than they could chew by incorporating a minute nuclear fusion reactor core into the motor. The resulting device, when switched on, created a similar effect to the LHC at Cern.

“That would explain the weird looking hail stones,” said Bob Dingoworrier, a resident of Cairns. “The storm came in and the next minute there’s angels singing and all these blue flashes bouncing off the Ute!”

What Mr Dingoworrier described is believed to be the first ever example of a Higgs-Boson or God Particle hailstorm.

The development team at Suk Yu will be giving a press conference at 16:00 GMT at which there is expected to be a lot of bowing, weeping and use of the word sorry!