Mid-Life Crisis Dad fails Grade One Piano Again

Give up, grade one is for kids you dick

This is not his hand

A thirty something dad from Rutland has failed piano grade one at the 8th time of asking.

His mid-life crisis journey to failure began four years ago when he decided that he must achieve some of his dreams or resign himself to being a suburban nobody.

It turns out that being a suburban nobody was actually something he excelled at, unlike piano.

‘Fucking waste of money if you ask me,’ says piano teacher

Even his piano teacher who has reportedly made over five thousand pounds trying to teach this tuneless muppet to play Twinkle Twinkle for years admits it’s a hopeless task and he should give up.

His wife left him years ago.

His kids won’t even visit him on weekends because they say he’s a nobhead.

Can’t switch to triathlon because he can’t swim

He cannot switch to a more traditional mid-life crisis activity like triathlon because he can’t swim, or ride a bike, and he hates running.


*If you or anyone you know has been affected by matters discussed in this story and would like to talk to someone…go ahead, just don’t talk to us you loser! 

Posted by on May 7, 2018. Filed under Haddock UK. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *