A thirty something dad from Rutland has failed piano grade one at the 8th time of asking.
His mid-life crisis journey to failure began four years ago when he decided that he must achieve some of his dreams or resign himself to being a suburban nobody.
It turns out that being a suburban nobody was actually something he excelled at, unlike piano.
Even his piano teacher who has reportedly made over five thousand pounds trying to teach this tuneless muppet to play Twinkle Twinkle for years admits it’s a hopeless task and he should give up.
His wife left him years ago.
His kids won’t even visit him on weekends because they say he’s a nobhead.
He cannot switch to a more traditional mid-life crisis activity like triathlon because he can’t swim, or ride a bike, and he hates running.
*If you or anyone you know has been affected by matters discussed in this story and would like to talk to someone…go ahead, just don’t talk to us you loser!