Mobile Phone Company offers Free Funerals

PZT A Dutch mobile phone company have come up with a novel way to sell more phones; 600 minutes unlimited texts and a Free Funeral.

This may sound a little macabre but funerals are expensive so actually in monetary terms it’s a bit of a bargain.

Jan Hootbaben, CEO of PZT had this to say: “Better than a fucking carriage clock or some luggage baby! At least it’s useful!”

What’s more, using their ‘family and friends’ package, it doesn’t have to be your funeral, you can nominate another person and pay for their final expenses.

As always, terms and conditions apply.

1) The coffin must have the company logo on it
2) For that to be seen by the public it must be carried slowly through a built up area
3) The body must be photographed holding a fully charged mobile phone with which it will be buried (just in case they wake up)
4) The family must agree to put a (tastefully modified) mobile phone mast on their headstone.

The tastefully modified mobile phone masts come in several varieties; an angel, a cross and the Virgin Mary, all of which look like cyborg praying mantises.

Despite all of this, business has been brisk, and PZT are already looking to expand their range of offers including amputations, radio therapy and anti-depressants.