Modern Vampires are Complete and Utter Bite

Dracula author the late Bram Stoker (kept alive by virgin blood) has told how he is frequently attacked by vampires over a hundred years after his seminal horror masterpiece was first published. Mr Stoker told The Haddock how he is visited most nights by an array of authors, directors, artists and satirists who proceed to suck the life out of his creations in a feeding frenzy of plagiarism and bargain basement inspiration. Said Mr Stoker; “It seems to be relentless. These ghouls and second rate writers never leave me alone, they always seem to be trying to find a new angle to bleed the vampire genre completely dry, whether it be teen vampires, sexy vampires, old vampires, comedy, animal or invisible vampires. The blood, sweat and toil of my life’s work appears to be literally saturating popular culture.â€