Next Season’s F1 to include: John Deere, Trabant, Dyson, British Leyland and Reliant!

f1 - the haddock - jensen buttonJensen Button to drive for John Deere

All-British Formula 1 hero Jensen Button aims to capitalise on his limited success next year by signing up with another great British team; John Deere.

John Deere will be entering F1 for the first time having, up until now, not built a vehicle capable of more than about sixty mph at a push.

However the fact that they build tractors is in no way a deterrent to either the team or to Button who firmly believes that they have what it takes.

“Oh, but they’re powerful!” purred Jensen as he climbed into the capacious cockpit of  his twelve tonne Combine Harvester before taking it for a spin around the Nurburgring.

“If we can get pole position,” said Button. “Then we’re sorted because this thing is literally impossible to pass!”

Good luck with that Jensen.

British Leyland or Reliant Robin for Michael Schumacher?

In the meantime F1 Dinosaur and comeback king Michael Schumacher is in talks with both British Leyland and the Reliant Motor Company, the latter of which are expected to build the worlds first three-wheeled F1 car in the spring.

“We’d be thrilled to have him on board!” Said a spokesperson for Reliant. “Even if he only stays there for a lap or two before careering into the barriers!”

Dyson F1 Car really Sucks!

Other teams expected to line up on the grid next season include Trabant, Morris and Dyson.

Dyson have built the worlds first cyclone-vacuum powered car which actually sucks its way around the track and can love bite great welts out of the other cars in order to beat them!

It’s going to be quite a season!