Nick Clegg gives Speech that only Dogs can Hear

Nick Clegg: His voice must be sub-sonic, that’s why nobody can remember what he says!

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has given a speech that apparently only dogs can hear, or so it has been claimed.

This astonishing admission was made after nobody who actually saw him speak could remember a single thing he said.

It was therefore assumed that he must have been speaking at a sub-sonic level which only dogs, bats, dolphins and some scientists can hear.

It has been rumoured for some time that he has been doing this for short periods while speaking in public.

He seem to do it at the key sections of speeches where facts, policies, useful information and admissions of utter ineptitude would normally be placed.

This explains why people come away from his speeches with somewhat bemused expressions on their faces as if they have just watched a man speak for an hour about nothing at all.

A spokesperson for the Liberal Democrats said that Mr Clegg was a remarkable man who lists the ability to speak to dogs and other animals among his great gifts.

Sadly politics didn’t make the list.

Next week he will be speaking to a group of deaf people.