The French President was reported missing at 15.10pm this afternoon after popping out to deface a Mini parked near his hotel which had a Union Jack roof.
He later re-emerged at a road-sweeping depot some miles away having been sucked up by one of their lorries with all the other trash on the streets.
Disheveled and smelling of dog turds he arrived back at his hotel where he was refused entry
for impersonating a head of state.
Gallic Atom dug in his Cuban heels
The Gallic Atom dug in his Cuban heels and demanded to see the manage whom he tried to bribe using a hand full of one hundred Euro notes.
The Manager quite rightly pointed out that he’d be better off with a hand fully of something useful like pound coins and reluctantly Mr Sarkozy was forced to hot foot it over to the nearest bureau de change and oblige.
“It’s not the first time something like this has happened.” Commented an anonymous source (he chose to remain un-named not because of getting into trouble, but to avoid admitting he was Sarkozy’s mate). “Last year he visited a gas heater factory in a blue suit and was mistakenly installed into a log-effect fire because he bore a striking resemblance to a butane cylinder.”
Bathed, buffed and back in heels Mr Sarkozy was able to continue where he left off, namely attacking David Cameron for having the balls to tell him to piss off!
You maybe interested to know that David Cameron’s Balls are the same height off the ground as Mr Sarkozy’s brain … that speaks volumes!