A new hard-hitting anti-smoking campaign is about to be launched this week. Slogans such such as ‘He was so fit until he lit and then he smelled like shit .. innit!’ or ‘Once
you took a drag I knew you was a slag!’ will be plastered all over our towns and cities in an attempt to break the myth that smoking is cool. In addition to this a number of particularly good looking celebrities are believed to be lending weight to the effort. Although names yet to be released, it is expected that famous faces like David Beckham and Justin Bieber will be filmed announcing such words of wisdom as ‘I woudn’t snog a smoker, because it tastes like licking out the inside of a marmite jar!’ or ‘I think it’s the yellow fingernails that really make me reach for the panic button!’ or even ‘I thought my passion was inflamed, but actually it was just the smell of his hair!’ The idea being to suggest to young people that if they smoke they won’t get laid, not by someone they fancy at any rate. Family planning organisations have been quick to condemn the campaign suggesting that bad breath and smelly hair are two key weapons in the fight against teenage pregnancy.
“Damned if you do, damned if you don’t!” sighed Bill Board of the Advertising agency behind the scheme.