Don’t Blame the Poor Guns!

Cole Deadand, a spokesman for the National Rifle Association, has defended the rigorous  use of firearms in American political debate. ‘To say that (guns) can have only a negative impact is unconstitutional and, frankly, smacks of Communism,’ he said. 

Mr Deadand, 62, upheld the right of every US citizen, regardless of mental health issues, to ‘shoot first and ask questions later,’ adding that it was ‘bunkum to suggest rhetoric as a realistic alternative.’

‘Vitriol,’ he said, ‘no matter how high you want to ratchet it up, is never going to be a substitute for good old fashioned flying lead.’

The press conference was brought to an early conclusion when, faced with further questioning, Mr Deadand suddenly produced a 9mm pistol from the inside pocket of his jacket and  began to fire indiscriminately at reporters.

 © Ralph Tritt, 2011