Oingo Boingo Ruins the Prom

"We appreciate that you dressed the part but could you please stop playing those instruments?"

“We appreciate that you dressed the part, but could you please stop playing those instruments?”

Dead man’s party indeed!

After a complicated series of events which included a number of management miscommunications and a rather unfortunate livestock exchange, the Buster Douglas Methodist High School of Spokane, Washington was forced to end it’s prom festivities early due to the unanticipated appearance of the 80’s new wave band Oingo Boingo instead of the milquetoast cover band originally booked.

“How am I supposed to party with these weird old guys playing synthesizers and ruining things?!” whined Emily Vetch, a ripe young senior who didn’t much care for the type of music she was hearing. “Half of the band looks like Batman villains! Like the James Holmes kind!”

The bands set began well; as it is still near the season, the students thought the act to be some sort of Halloween-themed musical comedy routine. The performance went sour quickly eventually taking a turn for the worst when the band’s front man Danny “Dingo” Elfman stuffed a sock in his pants and launched into the song “Little Girls.”

The incident led to Vice Principal McElroy throwing a comically large breaker switch to activate the house lights while screaming “alright folks party over! Party over!” Many students were upset, but a great deal were just happy not to be hearing Oingo Boingo anymore.

“If I wanted to hang out with the cast of Nightmare Before Christmas, I could’ve stayed home and played Yahtzee with my dad! He looks like the clown with the tear-away face!” screamed one particularly ugly student who did not wish to be identified, but looks somewhat akin to a human sausage roll.

Meanwhile, across town at the Peacock Menagerie, a middle-of-the-road high school prom cover band is playing to a crowd of people who are entirely too old to be sporting black lipstick and oddly-shaped green hair. Most of these people are in the field of accounting; none of them want to hear “Party Rock Anthem.” The climate is tense.