An old man living in London admitted today that from now on his penis would only be for peeing and nothing else.
Last night, he masturbated for the very last time and reported that it was ‘an average one’ which is a sad end to an illustrious career.
‘It’s just a tube now, like a little bit of hose!’ He lamented.
To be honest, it did look a bit pathetic just hanging there, dwarfed by his massive balls, flattened against the chair like a half deflated pink hand grenade.
‘More and more old people can only use their genitals for weeing, it’s an increasing problem,’ said the health secretary this morning. ‘The problem is there isn’t enough requirement for old genitals, applications are few and far between.’
It appears the same is true of breasts and other parts of their bodies.
*If you, or anyone you know has a use for this old man’s penis or other mature genitalia that could give them a new lease of life…we’d be surprised.