Well, if you like that then you’re in for a treat because it looks like old people are set to be punching each other in the face on a regular basis in an effort to fight the ravages of time.
Wallop theory, developed by Dutch dermatologist Horst Ouoolaap works on the principle that repeatedly hitting wrinkles makes them go away!
“Boxers aren’t wrinkled!” He recently announced at a seminar. “Need I say more?”
According to exponents of existing wisdom, yes, yes Horst you must say a lot more.
“Boxers aren’t wrinkled because they tend to be dead from brain damage before the wrinkles can get a chance to set in!” Said Dr. Mable Plant from the Royal Free Hospital’s burn unit. “Either that or they can use their disproportionate wealth to pay for endless rounds of plastic surgery!”
Both very valid points!
However, despite this, thousands of old people are signing up for the Wallop Plan.
We spoke to Bernard and Iris Higgins from Hove who have been smacking the shit out of each other and a number of other pensioners for the last six weeks.
“It’s great!” Said Bernard. “How many anti-ageing treatments can claim to be as sociable as Wallop? We get to meet our friends, take out our aggression and we all look amazing!”
They don’t have any wrinkles that’s for sure…any excess skin had been stretched by the huge welts and swellings all over their faces.
He went on to extol the virtues of a good workout once a week, nobody can dispute the fact that fighting is good exercise!
All we can say is that it is horses for courses.
If you know a dreary and winging old person who could use a good slap to cheer up their miserable wrinkly face, why not give them a Wallop for Christmas?