In preparation for the 2012 Olympics in London, certain British pastimes are to be introduced to the games. The following sports have been put forward as possible events at the games;
Three positions bland cookery
High speed un-called for xenophobic behavior
Tag team delusions about how good things used to be
One on one lying about how much you actually drink
Long distance unnecessary references to the war
Menâ€™s 100m procrastination
Womenâ€™s 50m blaming everything on the weather
Mixed gender sexual discrimination and unfair cross-gender salaries
Mass participation; weâ€™re still an important country please donâ€™t ignore us!
There are also calls to invent a number of obscure, cliquey ball sports that we can win at for thirty years until the Australians and Americans figure them out. Oh yes, and pub skittles.