O’Ryan’s Belt! Ryan Air to offer Budget Space Travel!

Ryan AirBy Jonathan Barker

Flip-flap, budget jack airline Ryanair are to be the first budget airline to offer budget space travel. The CEO Michael Dermot ‘O’ Leary taunted journalists with his new scheme, along with mild swearing.

I’m tellin’ ya’ Cackled ‘O’Leary. ‘From the makers of cheap seats planes; we are going to be the first airline in the world that will take you to outer space for a pound’

Impossible

A senior source from NASA told The Haddock that the claims were very impossible.

‘You can bearly get those rusty, overheated Boeing 747’s airbourne; and another thing, you can’t pay trained astronauts minimum wage and expect them to buy their own spacesuits. O’Leary really needs to think this one through’

Plans

But the wild eyed CEO has already started negotiations with NASA to try and buy two old fire damaged shuttles from the late seventies and has given an exclusive about his latest project to the Daily Sport.

O’Leary revealed the  proposed launch will be from a disused RAF base .

Controversy

O’ Leary’s critics have aired their protests at this next business venture. An investigation into his practice revealed that he pays the average pilot £3.19 an hour.

A former employee revealed how a flight from Stansted toOslowas repaired with plaster of paris. Despite a fatality and only a litre of fuel, an untrained crew member had to land inDublinand fly the service back to Bristol International.