Parsley Kaleidoscope: Britain’s most stoned columnist!

I just couldn’t help thinking what a major down it was when I switched on my television to see all the rioting and revolution going on in Cairo and across Egypt. Let me tell you a story, its sort of, well, my personal philosophy and I’d like, if I may, to lay it down to you. Lay it all out on the line. That’s right. Yeah, so like Egypt, its like the cradle of civilisation people. The cradle! Its where the first civilisations were formed. Sort of, its like, when we English were still living in mud huts they had built these huge pyramids. And you know how they built them? Alien spaceships, that’s how. Aliens, travelling for billions of light years from galaxies that died aeons ago, came down here to this little blue and green planet and taught them how to do it. Its all in the hieroglyphics. And yet we dare to think ourselves superior to the Egyptians and tell them how they should be running their own sovereign country? These are the people who aliens came to visit, man. I’m thinking, perhaps these little green men might never have left, maybe they’re in a cave or observing us all, miles above the sky in their spaceships and what are they thinking now? What are they thinking of the mess we have made of our own planet? Our own freaking planet people! Look who are elected leaders are, look at George Bush and Tony Blair, or, well, whoever we have in charge now. Omaha, Obumma, Obama, yeah that’s right, Obama. Alien spaceships man. The tip of my finger, the very tip, may contain its very own galaxy, I may have created it just by speaking these words right now. I may be a God people, a God of my own pinkie finger. Its something to think about when you, sit there, condemning the good protesting people of Egypt just for wanting to make their own decisions. Peace out dudes!