Personal Bingery!

Binge Drink

Binge, the latest in a long line of cider’s jostling for position in the lucrative ‘Trampagne’ market, stands apart from other brands by merit of the fact that it is stronger than most of them and is only sold in five gallon bottles.

Ginger Lee, the Haddock’s ‘getting smashed’ correspondent has tried Binge and described the taste as “what one would imagine trickles from a robot’s penis!”

Available in car parks behind supermarkets, dark alleyways not patrolled by policemen and derelict buildings reputed to be haunted, Binge is rapidly becoming the drink of choice for people who are already so hammered that they don’t know any better.

Binge Marketing Manager Colin Rocis explains the thinking behind the procduct.

“In 2010 the government creamed nearly 6billion in tax from the sale of booze. Wingeing about alcoholism when 80% of the revenue generated by it (not to mention licensing fees) goes into their pocket is like bemoaning cow mortality whilst eating a sirloin! ”

Binge is set to hit the streets soon, but more worryingly, so are the people who drink it (albeit face down).