The government have refuted claims that the new London Pigeon Rental Act is in fact a form of stealth tax. The policy, which will cost Londoners ten pence each for the pleasure of having pigeons in Trafalgar Square and other areas, was successfully passed through the House of Lords yesterday. Also included in the Bill are pigeon adoption schemes and even a pension program. This sudden wave of compassion for pigeons at Westminster has come as quite a surprise to just about everyone except a few fanciers who think it’s about time. Newly appointed Pigeon Minister; Hillary Capillary issued a statement suggesting that the pigeons were essential for London’s tourist economy, a view not shared by Paul Toast who has spent the last thirty years chiseling pigeon guano off statues. “Kill them all!” He screamed before throwing himself off Lambeth Bridge and being swept away by the Thames.