Pig’s Rights group files discrimination suit against major religions

"Would you eat me? I'd eat me." -Ad campaign "Desilencing the Ham"

“Would you eat me? I’d eat me.” -Ad campaign “Desilencing the Ham”

“It is 2013. Please, EAT US!”

That was the core message behind a speech given in Oklahoma City by Tammy, a spotted potbelly and chairhog of the Coalition for Pig Equality. The CPE filed suit against several major religions this morning, claiming that pigs have been unfairly portrayed in most significant religious texts.

“We are not some race of unclean being just because we eat scrapple and wallow in our own shit. These are lifestyle choices,” Tammy continued. “In this day and age, when a man can marry a yak and Steve Jobs’ soul is saved to a flashdrive so that he can be turned into a Coachella hologram, we feel that it is only right that pigs too the equality we deserve. And that means being eaten by Gentiles and Jews alike.”

Laying the Cloven Gauntlet

Little did the pigs know that the religions of the world would be represented by Hindi holy cows who also happen to be lawyers!

The outcome of the case remains to be seen. The courtroom smells like an outhouse and all humans in attendance are forced to wear overalls and chew dip tobacco.

The Imam who is set to testify for the defense does not seem pleased.

Bernard Floater Posted by on August 27, 2013. Filed under Haddock Animals, Haddock Religion, Haddock US. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.