A community of lovable anthropomorphic peas were told today by Oxfordshire council that they would have to leave their homes, or else be forcibly removed. The peas have lived at the bottom of the garden for 22 years, but they do not technically own the land, and their dwellings are blocking plans to build a shed. A spokeswoman for Oxfordshire council said today, “It is a highly regrettable decision. We understand that the Poddington Peas have a tremendous amount of support, but the law is the law. It is important that we continue with rural development, and a shed is the perfect place to keep things which aren’t important enough, or else are too dirty, to keep in a house. G-Pea, the community’s doctor, was ambivalent towards the council. “We understand that we don’t technically own the land, but we’ve been here for 22 years and no one’s ever complained. On the contrary, we’ve provided entertainment for some of the young local children
over the years. It seems like a strange time to suddenly tell us to go. Maybe we’re being blamed for that outbreak of E-Coli. I know vegetables aren’t particular popular at the moment.