The bears, who headed south in search of a new life after their home melted, are said to be honest and hard working but their lives have been made a misery.
The penguins say that they are only reacting to the threat posed by the introduction of a top predator to their fragile infrastructure but the bears say that is simply a load of bollocks.
‘I hear what they are saying,’ said blood-tooth, a fuck off massive polar bear with pointy teeth and stuff. ‘But their behaviour is out of control, they called us big nose and growler and all sorts of nasty names. And then they had the audacity to suggest we were trying to breed with them? Can you imagine what happens to a penguin when a polar bear fucks it? Not a pregnancy, that’s for sure!’ he spat angrily and then killed something small and defenceless.
‘They’ve brought down this neighbourhood’, countered an emperor penguin. ‘You know, we’re not that fast on land and, well they eat us and that is largely unforgivable…’
This situation is an unforeseen consequence of global warming.
At the North Pole a similar situation is playing out where groups of Mexicans (so called meximos) are settling randomly around the pole.
They’re a bunch of c*nts, said one Arctic fox we interviewed…that’s what the fox said!