Police Dawn Raid smashes Hosepipe Ring!

Hosepipe BanOver five hundred officers across three counties were involved in an elaborate sting operation carried out in the early hours of this morning.

Initial reports suggest the raid was a complete success and one of the largest hosepipe rings in the south of England has been smashed.

Two hundred people were arrested, some were still in possession of jubilee clips, sprinkler systems and lengths of hose thought to be used to water lawns illegally.

A further ten arrests were made in connection with a car washing syndicate based in leafy Berkhampstead.

When asked about the punishment facing these and all who fall foul of the drought measures the chief of police Paul Meakes was unrepentant.

‘We’re going to make an example of them.’ He said. ‘They will be banned from Homebase, B&Q and all major garden centres for up to three years!’

In addition to this it is believed that their own gardens have been taken into custody where they will receive only basic horticultural care and neither mulch nor compost!

Across the southeast Police have begun setting up roadblocks and carrying out stop and search operations for anyone in possession of a hosepipe or other lawn accoutrements.

Already there have been complaints from men with beards and dirty fingernails, and bra-less women that they are being singled out.

Despite these harsh measures, many people are prepared to flout the ban. Water sharks have been seen on street corners selling bottles of rainwater and charging extortionate interest to their customers.

Be watchful!



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Posted by on April 17, 2012. Filed under Haddock Culture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.