Police Issue Photo-Fit of Invisible Man

invisible man

Invisible Man: Slapping Suffolk Bottoms!

Suffolk police have issued the above image of the invisible man. They are keen to question him regarding an incident which took place at a women’s lido in Great Yarmouth last Wednesday. The man, believed to be in his forties, is said to have entered the ladies changing rooms at 3pm and proceeded to slap a number of bottoms. Having been unable to see the perpetrator of this crime, for obvious reasons, the ladies instead assumed that the slaps were in fact unwelcome advances from members of the same sex. The result of this was a loud, expletive-laden vocal exchange followed by a fight which caused several thousand pounds worth of damage.  A CCTV tape of this fight has gone missing from the premises and police believe it to be in the invisible man’s possession.

Suggestions that the incident may, in fact, have been the work of one of the women have been dismissed. However the increasing reliance of UK police departments on the invisible man as a credible suspect in unsolved cases is leading to alarm and scepticism amongst communities. Let us not forget that it is only one month since the Northumberland Constabulary claimed that a spate of goat thefts were in fact the work of England’s last surviving dinosaur who is, apparently, still at large in the area.