Taking advantage of an opportunity that was surely too good to miss, a group of health workers and police stormed the Stonehenge winter solstace celebrations armed with towels, soap, sponges, shower gel and portable power showers with a view to washing the hippies.
A vanguard action with nail clippers, cotton buds and hairdressers brought up the rear.
Hippies are difficult to track down, they keep escaping out the back door of the pub when you try to wash them, so when a chance like this comes you have to take it.
Hippies don’t often wash because they are too busy carrying out the important work of re-interpreting the universe through a fog of marijuana smoke and folk tunes, however the smell can put off potential disciples and people who sell food.
“I starved to death three or four times in the 80’s!” Said Seth a hippie who now washes fifteen times a day. “I had money, but they wouldn’t let me into the shops because I smelled like a horse-cock salad in hot weather!” he remembered fondly.
There were no struggles or violence, soon the ancient stones rang out to the sound of dancing queen, pretty vacant and other favorite shower songs.
Washed and buffed the hippies briefly re-entered civilised society before getting smashed on scrumpy, baked on hemp and finally coated in faeces with which they were trying to divine the future.
Although you can’t read the future in shit, this behavior was entirely predictable.
Next year the police plan to build a henge made entirely of soap.