David Cameron and Nick Clegg, one busy selling arms to the Middle-East, the other practising his kick-turns on the ski slopes, are worried that nobody cares about politics. Particularly in the light of the ever dwindling numbers who bother to even vote.
“Nobody gives a shit about us!” Said Mr Clegg. “Not even that, not even a shit, something that they flush away every day, they won’t even give us that… I feel so debased!”
In response to this, fans and supporters of the coalition government are urging the public to post their turds to Conservative Head office to show their love for the party. Already the response has been massive. Some fanatics have gone so far as to turn up and throw their crap at the building or even crouch down and poo it through the letterbox.
A spokesman for the government said today that both Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg are ‘Both surprised and thrilled’ by this outpooring of support.