Presenting: The five step ‘Hunger Games’ Diet

pieSo you’ve eaten the cabbage, raw food, high fibre, low fat, slim fast and enough protein to make your breath smell like a rottweiler’s love-sock and you’re still a fat bastard?

What next? Is all hope lost? Will you spend the rest of your days finding mice in your belly button and lifting up your gunt to find out if you actually have an erection?

Fear not…the Hunger Games diet is here to help!

Doctors don’t condone it, scientists can’t prove it and we don’t have any examples of people who’s life it has transformed but when did you actually care about any of that stuff?

All you want is something truly faddy that will make them gasp at the water cooler when you give them some sanctimonious spiel about how it’s time to change your ways and how you’ll soon be a size 8 right?

The Hunger Games diet is different to other diets…you can eat anything you want so long as it involves a near death experience.

For example, if you want to eat a hamburger, you’ve got to do it in the middle of a six lane highway wearing a blind fold.

Fancy a pizza? No problem…but be careful because one slice contains strychnine!

The Hunger Games diet book (available from all disreputable outlets) contains thousands of mouth-watering life-threatening recipes to get pulses racing.

Oh yeah…and then you take five steps…to burn off a billionth of a calorie!

Get your copy today and scare the fat out of yourself!

*Makers of the Hunger Games Diet refute claims that it is a veiled attempt to rid the world of obese people! 

Dr Johannesburg Swivel Posted by on November 17, 2013. Filed under Haddock Culture, Haddock World. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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