Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook announced a technological breakthrough today.
As of 11am GMT this morning, pressing the Facebook Like Button on certain articles will result in the presser achieving partial or even full orgasm.
Representatives of Facebook would like to point out that this gimmick is in no way linked to the fact that shares in the worlds third largest cyber country go on sale for the price of one human soul per certificate.
“It’s just a lucky piece of happenstance that we can beam love into our readers genitals in return for their own love of our product.” Said Nicky Barnes a UK spokesperson for the company. “The joy of voluntary cyber violation is something that many lonely PC users have longed for and now it’s a reality!”
Opponents of the idea say that it’s bad enough that people only talk to each other via Facebook instead of in the real world, but now their sedentary dribbling asses will now be denied the joy of natural masturbation.
For some people this is the only exercise they ever get and Facebook are taking it away and replacing it with cyberwanks.
“What’s next? An ‘Inseminate’ button?” Said Paul Brooks from ‘Save Wanking’ a liberal think-tank.
Facebook are remaining tight-lipped on that subject, unlike many of their female customers who are furiously liking anything and everything!
In response to this announcement, Twitter, the famous Social Networking Tool, immediately countered these claims by suggesting that re-tweeting the same message would result in multiple orgasms, even for men.
Due to the clear impracticalities of this technology, its use is to be limited to certain ‘Test’ Articles to monitor the effects of the change.
The Haddock are proud to announce that their FAN PAGE is just such an article and the ‘Like’ button is primed and ready to go.
So grab your gum shields ladies, and get a napkin gents… and let’s PRESS THOSE BUTTONS!