A Princess Kate Fart can fetch thousands on the brown market!
Always enterprising the ginger haired royal has hit upon a wonderfully simple scheme to boost the royal coffers and give something back to the public at the same time.
It seems that he’s managed to talk his grandmother (and more importantly his sister in law) into donating their farts.
With this in mind he has developed a vacuum sealed anus attachment which sucks gas out of the subject’s asshole painlessly.
‘It’s very effective!’ said a page. ‘Because he takes the fart from deep inside Her Majesty’s bowel there is no loss to dissipation.’
The farts will be tinned, attractively packaged and sold under his father’s ‘Duchy Originals’ brand name.
Prices start at around £9.99 for a “Prince Andrew” right up to several thousand for a “Duchess of Cambridge”.
The palace justified this high price on the basis that it’s the closest that anyone is likely to get to the Duchess’s bottom coupled with the fact that she very seldom farts so when she does it is a magical event for the whole family.
So, if you’re watching the royal family out and about on social engagements and you wonder why they’re walking a bit funny, it’s most likely because there is a tiny vacuum cleaner clamped on their ring.
The funds from this enterprise will go towards the Prince’s personal charity ‘Naked Pool for Africa’ which is fairly self explanatory.