A leaked government report has concluded that Modern music is now so bad, Simon cowell is the new number 1 threat to world stability. He will be dealt with in due course…Oh yes…. But the human race has become so dumbed down by the effluent that is X factor that intelligence levels have to be raised to ensure the future of the human race. It is feared that musical theory and creativity is being forgotten and Key members of 70’s prog rock bands are being assembled by a secret Whitehall department into an A-team style outfit to randomly turn up at schools to re-educate kids in music classes.
Cover versions are so prevalent that Some kids think that all songs possible have been written and are not even aware that it is possible to actually write a new one or even learn to play an instrument.
It is felt by the secret Whitehall department known as the MPMT (Ministry for the prevention of musical tedium) that they had to resort to the immense power of the prog rock stars of the 70’s as musicians from the 80’s and 90’s and especially the noughties just werenâ€™t up to it.
A spokesman said “You’ve seen the wizard fight in lord of the rings right? Well thatâ€™s the kind of thing that can happen when you take on crap of this magnitude. After extensive tests with reggae, jazz, Asian dub, and Peruvian drum and base gospel we have concluded that prog rock is the only thing powerful enough to tackle this problem”
The MPMT will also be trialling the use of an electromagnetic pulse to be activated every Saturday evening at around 7 PM to disrupt normal TV transmissions. Flares, Capes and outrageous stage outfits will also be available from local town hall’s to those wanting the full immersive prog experience. We at the Haddock are fully behind this initiative and look forward to getting our Saturday Nights back!!