The people of Hemel Hempstead are up in arms today after a visit from the Polictical Correctness Vampire. The Vampire (who works for the Government and who’s job it is to suck the humanity and fun out of every aspect of daily life) has decided to put a top to the age old local tradition of washing your mother on the pavement outside your house every Saturday. For years the people of Hemel (Hemelites) have washed the female parent in full view of the neighbours using a power hose.
“Washing mum is a source of great pride amongst us Hemmelites!” said Celia Bathroom the town Mayor. “I remember as a child, I couldn’t wait to see which one would scream the first obscenity. I remember the first time that someone’s mum had a Brazilian too, oh how we laughed.”
The event, which is sponsored by JML Power hoses, has been running since the 9th Century when Hemel was a druid fortress. Back then it was just a way of warding off the Vikings, but now it occupies a special place in the hearts and minds of everyone in the town. But not anymore. The Vampire has said no!
Some stalwarts have vowed to continue despite the ban, but mum’s the word!