Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulsen both had love affairs with the NSA

Imagine the excitement of THAT sex...

Imagine the excitement of THAT sex…

Mr. & Mrs. Spy Go to Washington!

…and Spread!

In open court, former News of the World editors Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulsen sat quietly for a public recounting of their dull, squarely uninteresting six-year extramarital affair. It is the closest thing to a sex tape to have been produced in the UK since Tulisa took up the flute.

However the pair expressed no discernible emotion during the retelling. This is most likely due to the fact that only a few hours after the day’s court proceedings, it was revealed by Edward Snowden that both Brooks and Coulsen both had extramarital sexual encounters with the NSA.

The whole NSA?!

The pair were involved in a number of “massive intelligence-swapping data-bangs,” claims one senior NSA official (whose identity is only known by he himself). “It was a department wide initiative, the hot sexing of these two individuals.”

Though Mr. Coulsen has remained quiet about his involvement with the US espionage organization, Ms. Brooks has said that “the NSA was one of the warmest, most generous collectives I’ve ever had the privilege of opening myself for. I treasure our time together; I know it played a big role in me becoming the skilled phone hacker once was, and still may be again once this bullshit trial is over.”

Don’t know why you’d want to read more about this, but if so, there ya go.

Bernard Floater

Bernard Floater

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Bernard Floater Posted by on November 1, 2013. Filed under Haddock Business, Haddock UK. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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