A blogger is recovering in hospital today after a link he submitted to social bookmarking website ‘Reddit’ was accepted.
Dino Timulsky from Denver was so shocked he fell backwards off his seat, landed on an up turned hairdryer and received third degree burns to his colon.
“I just don’t believe it!” Said Dino, a long term blogger. “Usually I get this stupid message saying I’ve submitted too many links and I need to wait an hour…but I haven’t…and then I have to wait about a month before I can do it again. But it just went straight in … what does this mean?”
It is easier to train a snake to walk than get something submitted to Reddit.
The labyrinth of etiquette & rules coupled with the closed ranks of its elite membership form a barrier to evil bloggers who dare to sully its holy pages with their musings.
The very idea that someone might want to use a social bookmarking site to get noticed is so abhorrent to them that they do everything in their power to prevent it.
“Reddit is just a club for people who like Reddit!” said one ex Reddit member who managed to get out of the firm and is now living under an assumed name thanks to the witness protection program. “They find it hard to make meaningful relationships outside of cyberspace so they protect the brotherhood and keep it pure by sending out ‘the messages’.”
These ‘messages’ including the one that Dino has already mentioned, are designed to deter people from posting links and encourage them to become sucked into the Reddit brotherhood.
One Reddit Cardinal (for that was his rank) commented. “People are starting to use the site just to promote their blogs, that’s just not on! Social bookmarking sites should be used as communities and safe-houses for nerds and Cybersexuals (people who’s sex life does, by default, revolve entirely around their computer).”
Wait, aren’t those forums?
Anyway, perhaps he’s right, perhaps bloggers, artists, musicians, writers and satirists who cannot possibly afford advertising campaigns and PR, who would simply like to be ‘heard’ but cannot because of all the Cyberclique bullshit preventing them from doing so should simply fall silent.
Reddit are believed to be releasing a ‘baptism’ app whereby wannabe disciples can be accepted into the bosom of the church and practise the pure faith…you heard it first here!
As for Dino’s link…Reddit have apologised and said that it will not happen again.