Revolting Badgers

Badger of Honour

By K. Bax

Plans proposed by the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, calling for all rural badgers to be culled, have been met with opposition from animal welfare groups and badgers.

A small group of badgers have formed an opposition group, named the black and white gang, and they have deemed the proposed cull ridiculous, stating that they should not be held responsible for the madness of cows.

The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs have said they don’t want to upset the badgers but that their involvement in maddening cows has gone too far and they simply won’t settle for crazy cattle.

They went on to say that gang intimidation would not alter their decision but ultimately the cull won’t take place until a suitable killer or killers have been found.

In a controversial move the cull contract in question is rumoured to have been given to hounds that are normally used for fox hunting, and the dogs have been asked if they would mind switching to badgers instead.

The dogs were not available for comment to confirm or deny their potential involvement.