Rhino Horn does not make your Cock Big!

Horny Rhino

Rhino Horn does not make your cock big, nor does it keep you going all night. It won’t get you more friends and it certainly won’t stop you being a wanker.

However, despite all these indisputable truths, people still kill Rhinos for it.

Now the animals have taken matters into their own hands. Male Rhinos have started working on construction sites in order to buy Viagra which they use to  placate the hunters.

Female rhinos have taken jobs in lap-dancing joints where men will pay good money to see a rhino undress.

But this is seems is not enough.

The myth that Rhino horn is an aphrodisiac arose from the fact that … well you’d have to be a tough bastard to kill one with a pencil and the horn itself looks a bit like your dream willy.

That’s if you want a willy that tapers to a point of course…

Now a new charity ‘Nuke Poachers!’ has started kitting out the animals with flak jackets, surface-to-air missiles and acid squirting horns is fighting back.

“We also give them jet-packs so they can fly away from the poachers and then circle round and bomb them with phosphorous grenades.” Said Benny Talc, chief engineer of Nuke Poachers.

Yes, jet packs that can lift rhino’s do exist, they’ve just been part of an elaborate cover up.

Only time will tell if these measures are enough, and only measuring tape will tell if Chinese men truly get the horn from stolen rhino parts.