License to Gill: Herring Freedom Fighters Stalk Rick Stein

Fish cook Rick Stein has upped the security at his Cornish restaurant after receiving threatening phone calls from a group of herring threatening to ‘do him over’. The secret organisation calling itself ‘Licence to Gill’ are demanding the release of their revolutionary brothers and sisters, currently residing in Mr Stein’s Freezer. If they’re not returned to the English Channel by midnight on Wednesday they will make good on their threats. The last chef who fell foul of Licence to Gill received third degree burns and bruises to the head and neck  when a dogfish flew through
his living room window knocking him into a bread oven.

These events are dwarfed by the actions of Russian group ‘Gorky Shark’ who’s protest against shark fin soup resulted in a light aircraft being knocked out of the sky by a Great White wearing a parachute.

Rick Stein has a difficult decision to make. Does he admit to the Herring that their friends are beyond saving and incur their wrath. Or does he lie to them … incurring their wrath. The common denominator in both these scenarios being the incurring of wrath upon him. A helpline has been setup ‘Herring Aid’ for other fish chefs in this situation but it’s a case of too little too later for Mr Stein. When we left he was boarding up his windows and strapping on a stab vest after rumours of a swordfish swimming in the harbour reached his ears.