Right Off: You too can Quit The Daily Mail!

Anti Mail Patch

Anti Mail Patch

Giving up reading The Daily Mail is as healthy as stopping smoking or drinking, according to a new report out today. The study, carried out on behalf of the NHS, showed that people who stopped their subscriptions to Britain’s most popular right wing daily were far less likely to start foaming at the mouth over the apparent swarms of homosexual asylum seeking immigrant travellers coming to Britain in droves in order to claim all the rural thatched cottages and plum slices of middle England. Tests taken two weeks after quitting also showed a marked decrease in blood pressure. Co-author of the report, Professor Bino Beardywierdo told The Haddock; “We tested many people who had discovered that taking up a subscription to The Daily Mail had actually driven them into the arms of drink and drugs as a means of escaping the so called realities of this nation collapsing around us in a sea of it’s own depravity. Just forty-eight hours after giving up we found a dramatic decline in the subject’s fear of being breathed on by a homosexual and after two months they even started to dismantle the fortified walls they had built around their suburban detached houses to protect themselves from drug addicted GM modified youths.â€