Rising Sea-Levels: A Solution?

Could this device save us from Rising Sea Levels?

Dr Jackson Collapsible-Pelican Goldsmith, a professor at the much venerated University of Sevenoaks has devised a plan to tackle the problem of rising sea levels as a result of global warming. His patented “Sea-Emptier” (pictured) will be tested this weekend in the Lake District. The plan is to install a number of these devices at the bottom of various oceans. Controlled by a series of long chains attached to buoys at the surface they will automatically open when the water gets above a safe level, in much the same way as a cistern ball-cock. The water will then be flushed away harmlessly and the people of Norfolk and Amsterdam can breathe a sigh of relief. Well that’s the theory anyway.

In an interview yesterday, the Haddock asked Dr Goldsmith if there were any potential problems with his design.

“Well,” he said after much deliberation. “I guess there’s a chance we could extinguish The Earth’s Core!” he laughed … nervously … with a twitch and an evil laugh …