England manger Roy Hodgson has been experimenting with his team, but having failed dismally he’s on course to experiment with hard drugs.
Having watched, with interest, the progress of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Mr Hodgson is said to be impressed by his tactics.
Ford who, with the possible exception of Silvio Berlusconi, is the most charmed man in politics (if indeed his job qualifies as politics) and seems to be a survivor against insurmountable odds.
If you can somehow manage to get filmed taking crack cocaine, swear on TV and spend the rest of your time hooning around like a class A dick-head and still keep your job…then your track record is better than that of England football team and therefore you’re a solid role model.
The England football are not a successful group of individuals.
Despite having the heritage and the greatest fans in the world (not to mention a baffling level of respect despite their inability to win anything) they seem to fuck up in the same way over and over again ruining many millions of otherwise good nights out for England’s sizeable pub-going hoards.
The answer? Try crack?
After all, according to Friedrich Nietzsche; ‘That which does not kill us makes us stronger’ (Friedrich Nietzsche would have made a dreadful Samaritan) and therefore crack could make England great again.
Whilst he cannot give it to his players as they are likely to be drugs tested and quite rightly so, there isn’t currently a program to drugs test managers…although perhaps this ought to be reviewed.
So next time you see England play, keep an eye on the dugout because Hodgson will be higher than Miley Cyrus’s agent’s blood pressure and shouting some fantastic swear words at the team.
Come on England! (Apparently Hodgson tried to do that as well but was unable to coat the entire squad)