In recognition of its part in bringing down the world economy, the Royal Bank of Scotland will henceforth be known as Mr Bank of Scotland. The word Royal has been removed from the title at Her Majesty’s request.
It may, however, still be used when referring to their behavior as a ‘Royal Cockup’. RBS will now be simply BS which is highly appropriate considering the dustbin loads of rhetoric and lies they’ve been shoveling for so long.
Bank of Scotland, who were never given the word Royal on account of the fact that they didn’t want it because they’re Scottish are yet to comment on the change but it is understood that the prefix Mr. will be enough to differentiate them from Mr Goodwin’s old office, well that and the fact that Mr. Bank of Scotland’s shares are worth less than biscuits and their offices are constantly being pelted with eggs.
Have you ever wanted to peer at the genitals of a disgraced Peer? Well if so, you’re in luck. It seems that in the space of two days he’s gone from owning a knighthood to flaunting his manhood! Yes Fred the shred has been ordered to spend the rest of his life naked in recompense for his behavior at the Royal Bank of Scotland. This is expected to cause particular problems when speaking to friends of his children or when applying for a new job. Despite the cold weather he will be walking around the streets of Edinburgh with a bad case of snowman’s tadge!