Russian billionaire eats a Ferrari

"As it is not yet physically possible to engage in intercourse with money, eating a Ferrari seemed like the best second option."

“As it is not yet physically possible to engage in intercourse with money, eating a Ferrari seemed like the best second option.”

Get out of my dreams, get onto my plate!

Russian billionaire Mikhail Khodorkovsky ate a 2013 Ferrari 458 Italia for dinner this evening.

The very rich fucker, who was recently released from false imprisonment at the compassionate mercy of Vladimir Putin, tucked into roughly 1/12th of the vehicle. The rest is in the fridge and will likely be consumed casually as left-overs.

After spending 10 years in Russian prison, Mr. Khodorkovsky is grabbing life by the balls and squeezing them until life sings soprano. After consuming his portion, he reportedly turned to his collection of Swiss watches (which he dines with regularly), smiled, and said “it tastes like freedom.”

With his new streak of liberated ingestion, it is rumored that Khodorkovsky may eat a portion of the Sochi Olympics once competition has concluded.

Bernard Floater

Bernard Floater

Keep it brief...my prostate is weeping! - Author Bio

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