Santa Claus Refused Entry to UK Airspace

Santa Scaring a Child

Children across the country were facing the prospect of a bleak Christmas last night following the news that Santa Claus has been refused a visa to enter UK airspace on the grounds of undesirability.

Mr Claus, real name Christmoso Mistleto-De-Santos-Yulio-Holliandi-Ivi, has been cited as violating numerous UK laws including breaching working times, failure to comply with appropriate quarantine rules concerning his reindeer.

In addition to this he has repeatedly refused to undergo the appropriate extended CRB check required to work with young children and having a long white beard that makes him look a bit like a fat Osama Bin Laden if you squint and use your imagination.

Said a spokesman for the Home Office; “We are talking about an old man who encourages young children to sit on his lap, breaks into your house, takes your mince pies and wine then rides his sleigh in the air well over the drink drive limit causing a serious danger to other
sky users.”

He went on to say that. “Worst of all his penchant for ‘giving things away for free’ is a direct challenge to government policy that you don’t get anything in this country unless you’re prepared to work down a mine on minimum wage until you’re well into your nineties for a foreign conglomerate making billions of pounds a year whilst at the same time using a complicated series of offshore holding companies to avoid paying taxes.

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Posted by on December 4, 2011. Filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.