New evidence has been unearthed proving a long held believe that dinosaurs were foul mouthed bad tempered creatures that swore all the time, especially when fighting.
A team lead by Professor Brian Wolftrousers of Sevenoaks University uncovered the proof when examining a group of Tyrannosaurus Rex and Stegosaurus skulls found in a box at the back of the Natural History Museum.
Their theory is based upon the little known area of cartilage just above the voice box known as the ‘Cuss Flap (Invectivus Cursus) which up until now was only believe to exist in humans.
This tiny piece of gristle allows us to swear and without it we would be a bunch of sanctimonious puritanical bores … so it is quite important.
Cartilage is rarely fossilised so no evidence of this had ever been found, but two of the skulls examined showed not only the existence of cuss flaps, but huge ones. Professor Wolftrousers explains.
“These animals would have been capable of immense and ludicrously insulting expletives. Words that today would be instantly fatal to everyone except the most thick skinned and insensitive assholes on the planet.” he concluded.
Members of the project were able to reconstruct a Tyrannosaurus cuss flap and by firing compressed air through it re-create some of the filthy language used by this terrible monster to intimidate its prey.
One of the words was so indescribably heinous that it exists only on a recording that had to be played back at half speed and even then it resulted in three people passing out and one developing a stammer.
“It was like the two worst swearwords … you know, the one that begins with M and the one that begins with C … mixed together and then injected with nitrous oxide!” said one of the students on the team.
The Military are said to be very interested in the dinosaur cuss flaps and have already developed a prototype which fits onto the front of a fighter jet!